This entire article was both a genuinely hilarious and a bittersweet read: thank you! In particular, thank you for points 19 and 20, which are the cleverest life-hacks I've come across in ages.
Written by Adam Fisher / fisher king (@therightstuff)
Software developer and writer of words, currently producing a graphic novel adaptation of Shakespeare's Sonnets! See http://therightstuff.bio.link for details.